I can't believe it was one year ago that we had to say goodbye to Ava. She was such a fighter. The doctors didn't even think she would make it full term. She actually scored a 9 on her apgar (whatever that is:-) I just know it's a good number. And she cried! I burst into tears when I heard her cry. I didn't expect to hear her. I was expecting the worst, I guess. For her to be already gone. She proved everyone wrong. If asked, I think 99% of doctors would simply say that holoprosencephaly is not compatible with life. That's not true! She had life! Is one's life more significant just because they live longer? She lived for 35 days. Pair that with the 283 days that she lived inside of me and that is a whopping 318 days of life! I remember praying for even 5 minutes before she was born just to get to hold and feel her and look at her. Just 5 minutes. God gave us 50,400 minutes! Our family was so blessed to have that time. I miss her so much. I think about her all the time. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel her missing from our lives. Especially when I do a "kid count" to make sure everyone is with me. I always come up one short. Then I remember, she's already home...
2 comments:
You do SO well expressing yourself in writing.
50,400 minutes! That is SUCH a miracle, indeed! You're right, significance in life is not measured by the length of our days!And Ava is TRULY significant!
Love you...thanks for sharing your pain, hopes, fears, and insight with us!
I have thought of you so much this past week!!! I have come across a baby with holoprosencephaly (sp?) in my work. I did not realize that was Ava's diagnosis, I don't think, but I knew it must have been something similar once I started reading about it for this other baby. I just want you to know that I think you are incredible, incredible people, and your daughter, all of your children, are so incredibly blessed to have you. Not all children can say the same. I am so thankful that Ava had an opportunity to be loved by you, and I just know that in your touch and your care, she must have been able, in some way, to begin to sense our loving Heavenly Father. And what an opportunity you gave her to make a difference in the lives of others! Thanks for being such an example to so many people.
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